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In this Newsletter
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What did you drag across the world?
From the editor
August 9, 2005
It's almost holiday time for us! At last.
And I can honestly say that we need it. Of course it will be nice to have a rest but more important we need some sun on our bodies!
We have not had any real summer weather yet and, as I am sitting here, it is overcast and cold outside. 16°C at the moment and, for the summer months this is just not normal.
I know I have always said that I don't like the extreme heat but this cold weather is also just no good. It has been raining and windy and we have not even had a chance to sit outside really except for a couple of days earlier in the "summer".
Next week June's friend Penny and her daughter Skye arrive from South Africa and we will be going to Paris for a couple of days. Skye is taking French at school and she has always wanted to go to Paris. So we will do the normal things tourists do; The Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, The Louvre, the Sacre Coeur and Versailles. I have always wanted to see the Catacombs in Paris so we might have a chance to do that as well.
What most Parisians call "The Catacombs" is called in reality "the quarries of Paris". "The Catacombs" represent only an eight-hundredth of all the galleries under Paris. They are just ancient quarries in which bones of generations of Parisians have been stored in order to solve the problem of overpopulation in the cemeteries of the capital.
The actual quarries are hundreds of kilometres long and spread under a very large part of Paris.
Please read our cover story this month. It is really fascinating!
After Paris we will have a couple of weeks at home and then we are off to Tuscany in the northern part of Italy. I remember going on holiday there with my parents and visiting towns and cities like Florence, Pisa, La Spezia and Viareggio. It will be great fun to do all that again.
At least we have more of a chance to get some sun there than here!
While on the subject of holidays, there will not be a newsletter next month. I am taking a break and am really looking forward to it. We'll get going again once we get back. That does not mean that the whole web site will come to a standstill because Trish in Johannesburg will still be processing your orders and I will also be having a look at the mails every now and then.
A couple of weeks ago I started making "Droe Wors" again. The last time I did this was a couple of years ago when we were still in South Africa. Following the same recipe as then it came out "lekker"! I will let you know when we have some available. For those who are interested, the weight loss between the wet sausage and the dried end product is on average 46.9% so it won't be going very cheap! But then, looking at the Pick & Pay and Woolworth web sites the prices in South Africa range between R 120.00 and R 160.00 per kg at the moment! How times have changed and prices increased.
And so we are rolling towards the end of the year. Funny to write this because just the other day it was Christmas and we were all looking forward to a nice hot summer and now it is only 137 days till Christmas as I am sitting here writing this.
For those of you who want to give a Biltong maker as a Christmas present and want it "surface mailed" time is getting short!
Well, that was it for this month. I wish all those who are missing the sun a little bit of warmth and those who are moving towards the summer a very pleasant and hot one.
Till the next time
Food for thought
The most successful job you'll ever have is being you. You were born for it, you're perfectly equipped for it, and you'll find genuine, profound fulfillment in being the person you are.
The most impressive you'll ever be is by being you. That will make a far more positive and valuable impact than trying to imitate some celebrity or attempting to play one-up with your neighbour.
The most value you'll ever create is by being you. You have many unique and worthwhile things to contribute to life, and the more you truly give of yourself, the better life will be.
When you come to a fork in the road, and have trouble deciding which way to go, be you. Take the path that more closely expresses the distinctive and irreplaceable person you are.
The happiest you'll ever be is by being you. There's a reason why happiness feels so good, and that reason is to encourage you to be the happy and fulfilled person you are meant to be.
In you there is greatness that you've just barely begun to realize. Be you, and let your own special greatness fill the world with light.
Story of the Month
Catacombs of Paris
Far below the city streets of Paris, in the quiet, damp darkness, seven million Parisians lie motionless. Their skeletons, long since dis-interred from the churchyard graves their survivors left them in, are neatly stacked and aligned to form the walls of nearly one kilometer of walking passage.
This unique bone collection covers a area of 11000 square meters, just a tiny portion of the 300 km of old mine corridors. Galleries are an average of 2.30 meters high, and the temperature is a constant 11.C, during summer and winter.
Completely different to the catacombs of Rome that, during the first century, served as a refuge for the first Christians persecuted and hiding there to hear the Mass or to bury their martyrs, the catacombs of Paris have less than two hundred years of existence. They are old underground galleries and quarries of stone, transformed, for reasons of public health, in a gigantic "Ossuaire général des cimetières de Paris".
The pestilential miasmeses exhaled by the cemetery of the Innocents - where "les Halles" now are - disturbed the neighborhood. The most important cemetery in the middle of Paris had, over ten centuries, the innumerable remains of thirty generations of people who died in the twenty parishes of the city buried there.
This terrible area of infection generated some murderous epidemics. The cemetery was so overcrowded that its soil was more than eight feet above street level. In 1780, infiltrations caused some deadly accidents; some Parisians were asphyxiated in the cellars near the mass grave.
Because of the unceasing complaints from neighbouring districts, the government of the day decided, five years later, to transfer the bones to the quarries of "Mont-Rouge", at the time outside Paris and currently under the Denfert-Rochereau square. On April 7, 1786, the curate of the Archbishop of Paris proceeded with the consecration of the catacombs.
The remains were moved during twilight by funeral chariots covered with a black sheet and followed by priests in white robes who sang the service of the dead. To the smoky gleam of torches, sacks were emptied and remains were poured without care in the subsoil of the "Mont-Souris" plain, by the vertical well of the "Tombe-Issoire" named after Isore, a Saracen giant who, as legend has it, would have fallen there, killed by Willem of Orange who wanted to conquer Paris.
The transfer, done daily, lasted fifteen months. Thereafter, until 1871, about thirty other Parisian cemeteries and mass graves that surrounded most of the churches, were closed and had the same destiny. Numerous burials took place in and around Paris during the massacres and battles of the revolutionary period of the late 18th century.
Just before the Revolution, Charles X threw wild parties in the catacombs. During World War II the French Resistance set up its headquarters here. Today modern troglodytes (cave dwellers) again have parties in the underground. There are raves and restaurants, and of course all kinds of subculture you may imagine. Regular patrol of the police is futile because of the hundreds of kilometers of underground tunnels.
What did YOU drag across the World?
All those things we took with us when we left South Africa!
Did we not want to take everything, thinking that if we got rid of something we might not be able to replace it wherever we went to?
Then, once on "the other side", we either realized how lucky we were to have taken all those "special" things or how stupid it really was.
I for one remember that is was very difficult to part with all the things we had gathered over so many years.
But some of the things .......really!!
I can just think of the SEVEN braais we took! There was our Cadac gas braai (with every conceivable attachment!), our Weber, spitbraai, large cast iron braai, another (smaller) Weber, our gas bottle with the large cast iron top......just to mention some!
All we have used in the end has been perhaps one or two of them. The rest stands in the garage collecting dust!
And those are just some of the many things we could have left behind.
In this part of our newsletter we are inviting you to write in telling us what YOU took with you when you left.
These may be things you really need right now or things that you could have left behind and were really totally unnecessary to have taken along.
We will have a small COMPETITION to see who writes in with the most unusual item that they dragged with them across the world!
For the next six months we will see what you come up with.
The person with the most unusual item (and we will want to see a picture of it!) will get one of ROCKEY'S 5KG HOME BILTONG MAKERS!
So, here we go!
This one is from Nico Botha in Australia
We bought a very old antique French bed, in France, then packed it all up moved with it to South Africa, and that with my inheritance furniture is now here in Australia.
I have three braai dromme, a smoker, a 4x4 Camper Trailer,about 20 fishing rods from RSA a few cast nets, enough ander kakkas for camping and even our Venter Trailer the 6 ft Venter Camel here in Australia!
If I have to list all Skippy's kakkas, the newsletter will be just a bit too small to list everything!
From Lorraine and Derek Austin in Brisbane
We emigrated and wondered what to take with us to Brisbane Australia, so we took everything with, plus two new fridge/freezers.
When we got here, one fridge packed up, so we thought we would make it into a tool cabinet, and it even has a built in lock so when the second fridge packed up just at the end of last year, we did the same with it.
Now in the shed we have two lovely KIC fridges that no longer work but are our two lock up tool cabinets. The neighbour asked us one day why we have a fridge in the shed" so we joked with him and told him to keep the beers cold.
So that's what happens to lockable fridges from South Africa!
From Paddy Johnson in Australia
Great newsletter !!!
I have been in Aussie for 8 yrs. now and whilst unpacking an old tool box the other day came across this most unusual " BRINGALONG".
Just in case not everybody knows, this "deadly" piece of weaponry is a pair of BIDIZZOS!
They are for castrating young bulls and turning them into oxen.
My partner (Aussie-City girl) thinks that this little operation she wants to perform comes a little too late. I have twin sons (22 year olds).
They came for the ride as we stopped farming in South Africa 33 yrs ago. I am 50 now and my Dad had these before I was born. I guess they are just part of the family.
From Kerry Booysen-Finch in Holland
The strangest thing I "HAD TO" bring with when we left SA in 1999 (and I will be surprised if anyone has anything stranger) is approximately 1 kg of dried rose petals which came from the garden of the first home we ever owned.
I had them in a bowl on the coffee table in SA for 6 years before leaving and now they proudly (and a little faded) sit in the same bowl on a different coffee table in The Netherlands (and NO I am not smoking some good stuff)!!
Let's see if anyone can beat that!!
From Tanja Köhn in Dushanbe, Tajikistan
As for the strangest item that we took: Bruce is absolutely boat mad and had started building boats in Cape Town. He always collected bits and bobs for boats for future use, so in our driveway in Hout Bay we had this massive 7 m square wooden mast lying around.
He promised me to get rid of it before the movers would arrive, but when they stood in the door and he looked at the container, he decided to take it along, because it fitted in!
I was not amused, and I am still not - it is now lying around in our driveway of the little oriental townhouse we are renting here in Dushanbe!
Tajikistan is an inland country with no sailing boats in a 500 km radius! - I already considered cutting it up and using it as braai wood... Maybe we should put it up as a flagpole though and fly the South African flag high above the roofs of Dushanbe!
NO NEW ENTRIES THIS MONTH!
Our Home Biltong Makers
A Biltong Makers' journey ........
The following is a mailing between us and our dear customer Claudine in New Zealand. Claudine and husband Peter ordered their two Rockey's 5kg Biltong Makers to be sent by surface/sea mail. Read on ...............
June 19, 2005
Dear Biltong Team,
Just a quick enquiry about our biltong machines. We are just wondering if
it is time to start looking out on the horizon to see if we can see the
dust from the ox wagons.
June 20, 2005
The oxen are tired and the dust lies thick on the "vlaktes". They left
on the 6th of June already and still have a long way to go. After all, it
takes them 10-12 weeks to where you are all the way from Africa!
Please keep some water ready for when they arrive and let us know if
everything was ok.
THE BILTONG TEAM
June 26, 2005
Dear Biltong Team,
There we were sitting in the "voorhuis." Oom Schalk Lourens had come to
He couldn't remember what "rain" was anymore and wanted to experience it personally, first hand.
As I was saying, there we were in the "voorhuis" listening to those great tales of the Marico.
Just as he was explaining
what a "drought" was (something we had forgotten ever existed), little Sannie
(she had come with Oom Schalk for the adventure), came running in from the
"The oxen, the oxen!" is all she could shout.
Now, this did not make sense
at all since we live in town and the oxen were secure about 15 km away on
a friend's farm. So we all went out to have a look.
Sure enough, there was a
16 span team of red Afrikander oxen.
You could see they had a long haul behind them. However, the smell of all that rain and lush green veld had
been too much for them.
The further they traveled the faster went the journey. And here they were.
Our Biltong Makers have arrived and are about to be commissioned.
Thank you for having them shipped out to us so quickly. I expected to wait
at least another 6 weeks
Peter and Claudine
June 27, 2005
A 16 span team of red Afrikander oxen! Wow! That is good for enough
Biltong for you, Oom Schalk, Sannie and the whole neighbourhood for the next ten
Please let us know all about your first attempt at making biltong?
THE BILTONG TEAM
July 6, 2005
Dear Biltong Team,
Oom Schalk, Sannie and all the others have returned home, now that the Biltong Makers are safely installed. They decided that a 16 span team of oxen was darem too much biltong and since the animals had recovered so well in our wet
climate it was a shame not to take them back so the people could see what they should really look like. All fattened up and all that.
So we went off to hunt. But antelope as we know them in the Kalahari are
rather scarce here and we had to settle for a fair sized roast from the
We cut the meat into strips, as closely as possible to the size recommended
by yourselves. We used the spices as directed. Not too sure how saturated it
should really be we sprinkled vinegar over the layered strips of meat and let it
mature over night. The following morning we hung the meat up to dry (after
patting with paper towels to remove excess moisture from the vinegar.
The meat hung for 4 days and started to get mouldy - not much. I might add
that we had excessive rain during that period. I didn't measure it, but it
seemed to be about 70mm per day. We use a dehumidifier in the house and
remove about 5 litres every 24 hours. The dehumidifier is in the passage and
the biltong maker is in the kitchen.
After six days the biltong seemed to be ready. It has dried quite well and
tastes good. But we are concerned that it should have started to get mouldy.
Have you any suggestions? The biltong, is sliced and stored in an airtight
container in the refridgerator.
Is this a good idea?
with kind regards
Peter and Claudine
We wrote back to Peter and Claudine that under very wet and humid conditions it might be difficult to keep the mould away. The Biltong Maker should always be kept in a dry and cool place when drying meat.
I personally have found out subsequently that if you see dampness on the window of the Biltong maker whilst the meat is drying there is not enough airflow and there is too much humidity. In such cases you can replace the lid of the Biltong maker with a very fine netting, much like net curtains. This allows for a better airflow and gets rid of the dampness quicker. Also remember to dry your meat completely before hanging.
Don't be scared that you will lose the flavour of the marinade. That sits in the meat anyway after a couple of hours in the "muti". - Ed.
You can have a look at the Biltong Buddy here.
Details on Rockey's machine can be found by clicking on this link.
Our monthly special
Nice 'n Spicy!
Most people know by now that by using our Nice 'n Spicy recipes and all the spices that come with them, is a sure and fool-proof way to make some delicious South African dishes the easy way!
This month some of our Nice 'n Spicy spices will go at give away prices. Each packet will cost only R 25.00 and that includes the mailing of it!
The spices we have available are as follows:
|Name of Spice
|Saucy Seafood Curry
|Roasted Vegetable Curry
|Spiced Lamb Potjie
|Balti Chicken Curry
But, be quick! They will be gone very quickly and, once finished, the price will revert back to normal.
Click here to have a look at the different spices and what they mean.
Tip of the month
Watching SA TV on your computer!
Not so long ago I was at Champs Pub watching a game of live rugby. I am a member of the Budapest Rugby Watching and Drinking Association (Beer Director!).
I met up with some Okes that have been living in Budapest for some time now as well and they told me that there is a web site called www.kuduclub.com . On this web site one has all the goodies to watch like Boots and All, Roer, Mnet open time, Egoli, Live rugby and cricket even the local games, etc. This is all legal which is great and for a mere US$ 9.95 a month is an absolute give away.
Okay, it doesn’t beat the feeling of been in a Pub with the mates getting plastered on the week-end. But for all those South-Africans that live in a part of the world where Rugby and Cricket is none existent this is a great opportunity!
Let's hope this will help out a few of our S.A. Buddies all over the world.
Questions and Answers
Here is our regular section on the many questions we receive from our readers all over the world.
If we have not given an answer and you can help these people could you please mail them?
(Please copy us in on your mails @ email@example.com
so we can help other people who might have the same questions in the future)
What are sausage casings made from? How do you make them?
Johannesburg, South Africa
How about some "poffadder" recipes. If you have any it would be appreciated.
Durban, South Africa
I'm doing research on a food programe which traces cuisine back to its origins. Do you know where Boerewors originates?
I would guess that it is from Germany since German immigrants brought sausages to South Africa.
Any information would be useful.
HELP asseblief tog, julle
Has anyone made biltong out of pork tenderloins or any kind of pork?
Stuck here in South Korea slavering at the thought of a stukkie biltong. The cheapest beef here is about US$32 a kilo and at the rate of shrinkage I'm looking at all the options.
Pork tenderloins, imported from France, are only about US$5 ea (500gm) already the perfect shape, but has it been tried?
If yes, then I'll be ordering the "box" for our tiny little apartment, immediately...
Local venison - no chance!
If there are a half dozen little deer in these wooded hills, they've learned to be fast and someone knows how many there are/were.
Koreans consume 9,000 tons of dog meat a year (in restaurants, rural consumption unknown). These dogs look like a cross between ridgebacks and rottweilers but are the same colour as red setters although short haired.
This is the local "game meat" and not what I could ever stomach.
Being a plain old country boy and having always loved smoked meat I have done a fair amount of smoking.
However I really need some help in this department.
It's been a case of always having done my own thing. I'm not into putting up fancy smokers etc. but just need to hear from like-minded folk some tips and pointers.
My idea of fun is to gently smoke a Francolin or Guineafowl after cooking them to impart the TASTE of AFRICA.
Or smoke a freshly caught mountain trout or river bream.
As an aside every evening when I return home to my house in Emerald Hill I get back to basics. My faithful old gardener has a continual wood fire at his quarters near the gate.
One has to stop the car, get out and flavour the air, as whisps of Mopane or Msasa wood smoke (we bring the Mopane wood into town) remind us of the main reason why we are still here.
Also what about pickled tigerfish? This is a truly African dish that I make and love (it's fun catching it too).
Regards and keep up the good work
Have been living in Australia for 24 years. Was wondering if anyone has a recipe for monkey gland steak.
Love your newsletter.
Our new Forum and Bulletin Board
New and Exciting!
The link for the Forum/bulletin/message board can be found on our home page www.biltongmakers.com on the right-hand side in the middle.
It will also feature in this section of the monthly newsletter, at least for a while.
Why is this so exciting?
Here are a couple of reasons:
The possibilities are endless!!
- You can now put your questions to an audience of over 17500 people who receive this newsletter every month. Add to that the number of additional people who read it and you could reach very close to 30000 people!
- How about trying to contact somebody? Perhaps a long lost friend or someone who has changed email address?
- Perhaps you are looking for a Cadac gas connection like Marian Cooke, our reader from Canada.
- Or you have something you might want to sell!
- And then the incredible opportunity to be able to discuss matters of importance to you with any of our readers.
To enter the Message Board/Forum you can click on the link below!
Old family Venison Potjie recipe
Here is a recipe for my favourite Venison Potjie for all homesick South Africans and also for those who think that Venison/Game is difficult to cook ...
This Potjie is suitable for 6 to 8 people in a size 3 Potjie. It is a tried and trusted favourite family recipe that requires at least 4 hours to prepare, so take your time and sit back with a lovely South African Dry Red.
Take care too keep the fluid level as described, too little and the pot will burn, too much and the sauce will be very thin (laaang sousie...).
- 1 kg sliced Venison neck or shank (I prefer Blesbok, Impala, Kudu or Warthog, but any venison can be used for this, even Beef or Mutton).
- 2 Fatty pork chops (optional - as game is very dry this adds enough fat without it being too fatty, do not add this if you use beef or mutton)
- 50ml cooking oil
- 2 onions, sliced
- 4 cloves crushed garlic or 10ml crushed garlic
- 1 block beef stock
- 1 block "Tomato paste maker" or 1 small can tomato paste
- 450ml-340ml Beer (1 can or bottle) or 500ml dry red wine
- Water (I normally use about 3 liters in total) - heated water cuts down the time
- 5ml Freshly ground black pepper
- 6 Cloves
- 3-4 Bay leaves
- 5ml Mustard Powder
- 1 Bouquet Garni
- 2ml Cumin
- 10ml Parsley (dried or fresh)
- 10ml Thyme (dried or fresh)
- 1ml crushed coriander (optional)
- 15ml Coarse salt (rock salt)
- 6 medium sized potatoes or 12 baby potatoes
- 6 baby marrows or diced pumpkin
- Handful of cauliflower and/or broccoli
- Handful of Brussels sprouts (optional)
- Handful of sliced carrots or other vegetables (steer clear of small veggies like peas and beans (unless whole beans ) and very soft or leaf vegetables)
- 1 Packet Thick White or Brown Onion soup
Serve with rice, samp or mealie pap
- Sautee the onions and garlic in cooking oil in a well heated Potjie
- Brown the venison, making sure that it does not burn
- Add the water to cover the venison
- Bring to the boil and cook vigorously for 1 hour, adding water if required to keep the meat covered
- Stir often (for the last 15 minutes ensure the fluid level is such that when you add the beer or red wine in the next step, the venison will be covered but not "drowned")
- Add the pork chops, tomato paste and beef stock (crumbled in or dissolved in a little bit of water/beer/wine), as well as the beer or red wine
- Bring to the boil and cook vigorously for 1 hour, adding water if required to keep the meat covered
- Stir occasionally
- Add the spices, excluding the salt
- Bring to the boil and cook softly for 1/2 hour, bringing the fluid level down to 3/4 the level of the venison
- Stir occasionally
- Add the salt
- Cook softly for another 1/2 hour keeping the fluid level at 3/4 the level of the venison
- Stir occasionally.
- Add the vegetables (potatoes first, soft veggies on top) - do not stir the Potjie after the veggies has been added!
- Bring to the boil and simmer softly for 1/2 hour
- Check the potatoes with a knife or fork. If the potatoes are soft continue to the next step. If not simmer for another 5-10 minutes and re-check the potatoes
- Mix the soup with a little bit of water and pour over the vegetables (do not stir the Potjie!
- Simmer for another 5 minutes and remove the Potjie from the heat
- Allow to cool to serving temperature (a bit too hot to eat is better as this allows all the guests to dish up first)
Newcastle, South Africa
Around the World
Bits and Bobs from people around the world
Happy Jaapies in the UK!
Having lived, worked and cried in the UK, it may be time to share our
story, albeit a shortened version.
I arrived on the proverbial metal budgie on the 1st of May 1998 from
South Africa, chasing a dream, not financial gain or mental freedom from
oppression, but a woman, a young lady who had crawled into my soul back
in South Africa and who I simply could not be without.
Ja, a love story, but it has
worked, and pretty well too, so all you sceptics take note follow your
heart and dreams and sod logic.
This all began with a chance encounter when I was living and working in
Pietersburg running a restaurant called Mariners. A mutual acquaintance
introduced me to this crazy redhead who had been in London for a year
and was struggling to make sense of life in a country town after tasting
the big wide world!
The inevitable happened and we hit it off, big time. But
as an adventure seeker with itchy feet she wanted to get out of SA and
back to a free spirited life without all the narrow-mindednes of small
town South Africa. She made her plans and flew to London on the 1st April 1998.
My world fell apart.
I could not function you see, this girl was my second chance
of happiness after a failed marriage and I wasn't about to let it slip
away, not without a damned good fight anyway.
To cut a long story short, I flew out and joined her. Worked as a labourer on a
construction site in London, what an eye opener! From management in SA
to broom pusher in the UK!
It was not easy but I had a chance of making my dream come true and that kept me going.
We were married in October 1998 and life was great, my job had evolved
from pushing a broom to washing mud off truck tires, scaffolding on
high-rise buildings and eventually a management position in logistics
with Canary Wharf Construction on the HSBC tower in the Docklands.
I thought I'd cracked it when we found out we were expecting a baby only to have our life turned upside down by a miscarriage. Our relationship was made stronger and we survived only to be rewarded with
two healthy boys, Karl in 2000 and Erik in 2003.
We have recently bought a house in Peterborough and are settled into the
UK life. This includes the mandatory BRAAI from time to time even during
snow in winter much to the amusement of the P.O.M.E.'s!
The reason for me pouring my heart out this way is to challenge you all;
DARE TO DREAM. . . . . . and it can happen for you too!
Hugo Van Den Dool
Its been quite a while!
We left South Africa in 1994 and came to Toronto, Canada and are now living in Cambridge, Ontario, about 1 hour southwest of Toronto.
I am very happy here but, of course long for that little part of us which will never change. We have met many South African's here and it's great.
There are a lot of people here from Zimbabwe, Durban friends and also from Jo'burg. It almost feels like home!!
We opened a flourishing adult store, and have now also opened Sugarlips (a chocolate factory), a bit of a change. Maybe one day we'll open a South African Club here close-by because so many have come in asking for South African goodies. It's always the good stuff that we have to find.
Anyway, I hope to hear lots from anyone out there and get some ideas for the store as well.
Juliet and Jacob Van Wyk
Smile a While
Telecom : How may we help you?
Customer : I haff a big problem with my phone bill. My wife, she think I haffing an affair!
Telecom : Okay Sir, and how can we help you with this?
Customer : My bill haff all these calls to Salulah and my wife think I haffing an affair with this woman, but I never heard of her before. I need to trace these calls please.
Telecom : Sir, I'm sorry but the bill won't actually tell you the name of the person you're calling, just their number.
Customer : This one does.
Telecom : What phone do you have, Sir?
Customer : A mobile. I tell you this.
Telecom : No, Sir, what make? What do you have in your hands?
Customer : An erection .........................................
After a moment's silence, the gallant Telecom worker continued.
Telecom : Um, sir? Could you spell that for me?
Customer : For sure - E..R..I..C..S..S..O..N. Erection. ...........................................
Another moment's silence from Telecom, and suddenly the penny dropped.
Telecom : Sir? Can you spell Salulah for me?
Customer : For sure. C..E..L..L..U..L..A...R. Salulah.
Boks are hungry for away points!
By Dale Granger
The Springboks will fly to Australia this week with two home wins under their belt, sitting at the top of the Tri-Nations log handsomely poised to become the first South African side to retain the trophy.
In the nine-year history of the Tri-Nations competition, South Africa have only won both their home games on two other occasions. The first time was in 1998 when Nick Mallett coached the Boks to their first Tri-Nations triumph.
In that year Gary Teichmann lifted the cup after the Boks returned home unbeaten from Australasia to defeat the All Blacks 24-23 in Durban and the Wallabies 29-25 at Ellis Park.
On Thursday the Springboks, with eight log points from two games to the single point of Australia and New Zealand after Saturday's 22-16 win over the All Blacks at Newlands, will fly to Australia in a confident mood.
Springbok captain John Smit will regard it as a good omen that in 1998 South Africa won the first Tri-Nations Test played in Perth, beating Australia 14-13 before going on to defeat New Zealand 13-3 in Wellington.
|Australia host New Zealand in Sydney on Saturday
|| Australia host New Zealand in Sydney on Saturday and next weekend South Africa will play their first away game of the tournament in Perth, a city where the Boks have traditionally played well against the Wallabies.
In 2001 the Boks drew with the Wallabies in the West Australian city and in 2004 they acquitted themselves well there - losing 30-26 to a late try scored by South African-born wing Clyde Rathbone.
This was after they had suffered a gut-wrenching 23-21 defeat the week before to the All Blacks when wing Doug Howlett scored a try with 30 seconds remaining in Christchurch to deny South Africa their first win in New Zealand since 1998.
After next Saturday's Test match in Perth, the Springboks fly to New Zealand where they will be striving to become the first South African side to beat the All Blacks at Dunedin.
The two nations have played six times at the notorious "House of Pain" with the All Blacks beating the Boks 19-11 the last time there in 2003.
After becoming the first South African side to beat New Zealand at Newlands in 29 years on Saturday, Springbok coach Jake White emphasised that his team would now have to prove they can win away from home.
Saturday's triumph was White's 14th win in 20 tests, giving him a 72 percent winning return as the second most successful Springbok coach of all time behind Kitch Christie, who won all 14 Tests during his tenure.
This also stretched South Africa's unbeaten home run to 11 victories under White - setting a record of home victories that surpassed the 10 unbeaten matches South Africa played at home between 1960-1963.
Away from home, however, the Springboks have performed with less distinction.
Under White they have only won four of their nine away matches, beating the Pacific Islanders, Wales, Scotland and Argentina last year, but losing to New Zealand, Australia (twice), England and Ireland.
Remaining Tri-Nations fixtures
August 13: Australia v New Zealand (Sydney)
August 20: Australia v South Africa (Perth)
August 27: New Zealand v South Africa (Dunedin)
September 3: New Zealand v Australia (Auckland)
(This article was originally published on page 24 of Cape Argus on August 08, 2005>)
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